He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
