craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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