yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Oh god it's open bar.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
