1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
