she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
