Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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