I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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