I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just want nice things and good sex
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
