I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
