I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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