babies were throwing up all over the place
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
