You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
