Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I lost the right to judge tonight
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
