This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
