remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
this boner is exhausting
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
