hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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