Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
