You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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