Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
