Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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