he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Watching her eat just hurts me
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize