just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
