I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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