that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I met the friendliest cop last night
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
The air was thick with penises
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
