He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Randomize