And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Watching her eat just hurts me
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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