I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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