Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize