So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
