the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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