i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
