I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
