no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
