if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
