I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
