That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Text me some of your sweat
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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