I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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