I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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