HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
