I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
