he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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