I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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