grandma shit on top of the toilet
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
