some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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