I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
