Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
