then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
