Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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