Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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