dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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