Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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