Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
dude i'm inner monologue high
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
