i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
