I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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