My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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