walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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