a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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