I think I won the penis lottery.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
