I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize